僕の家族

I came into this world in an average-income family. My dad, works with Exxonmobil while my mom supports the family being a teacher(中学先生). I was raised and nurtured in an off-town environment, away from those daily city-hustle. I remember when I was a kid, I used to be very naughty kid, upsetting my parents and always causing them trouble, here and there.


Despite having such an ungrateful kid that I am, my parents never give up raising me with love and care. My mom （母）is the type of a woman who never fail to give me a hug when I encountered a downside in life, and always there to support my back when I'm on something. She's a brilliant practitioner for a person who gave up college for the sake of the family during the recession. Thanks mom for never giving up on me under any circumstances :p


My dad（父）, is such a responsible man who always prioritize family at any cost. I remembered he took a day-off even though he's supposed to be assigned for an important meeting for the weekend merely to accompany to a competition that I was on. Apart from that, he taught me presentation techniques and reasoning skills on our 3-hours drive to KL. Alhamdullillah, things went smooth during my high school year that I manage to secure such a promising scholarship.

And not forgetting, my brothers and sisters（兄弟）. By the time I graduate, promise that we would spend time at home, watching TV while reminiscing good ol' childhood time over tea!


From left, Sya, Sera, Imi and Syasya, one missing-in-action brother in Nashville! :p
左から、シャ、セラ、イミ、シャシャ、ぼくはいないです！：ｐ

p/s: Syasya's face looks like Dunkin' Donuts now. Ahaha！
ｐ・ｓ：今はシャシャのかおがＤＵＮＫＩＮ’ＤＯＮＵＴみたいです。あはは！

Without your support, I wouldn't have had this




Or this...


Or this....





In this textbook


Or standing proud on this stage...





Pondering over these memories, I can't imagine what kind of future do I have without them? Needless to say about scholarship or education, would I even grow up being a human being? Would I be a stray kid just like those we see in certain countries? Thinking back, I'm so glad that my dad is not the king of a region, or the president of a company or a prime minister of a country, as I'm grateful enough to have such a parent who never fail to listen to me on any circumstances, or for worrying-sick if something happens to me. Truthfully, I want to be a great dad like you are, dad! And of course, one day, having a wife as superb as you mom!

いつもほんとうにありがとうございます
DEEPEST THANK YOU ALWAYS







THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!
PAPA AND MAMA!

Anybody up for a challenge?

CLICK HERE TO PLAY!

I can't figure out the number for the madman mission, anybody interested to break my record? Hehe. And make sure to turn off the lights! WAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

why I don't eat pork

I came across this video a while back, and it turned out that worms/maggots did appear out of the pork, squiggling on top of it. As far the accuracy extend is invloved, I do not know, but no pork for me, that's for sure. Some says that they do exist in other meat, but I have not came across any of that on youtube so far. I wonder.... Also I don't know if they would be sterilized thoroughly if they are heat up during cooking process, but I sure don't want to try it. Hehe....

Any opinion, anyone?

Interesting speech by Ustaz Azhar Idrus ^^

Something interesting to share, I think...

And to anybody who doesn't understand this, it's about the permissibility for dog as home guard. Well, I guess that's what the dog's are for right?

To a certain Malaysian people, they are kind of skeptical about the permissibility of dogs at home. Probably not the Malaysians here, but the ones especially in Terengganu, or Kelantan area. I don't know about those living in KL or the area around it, but this is why I think dog exists for in the first place. There's no need to run away from them, unless, of course the stray dogs, you don't wanna get bitten for no reason, right? ^^

Wallahualam'

みんながんばって下さいね

Dedicated to all my friends in Vanderbilt, or whoever reads this post.

みんなはきまつしけんががんばって下さいね！

Trouble is a friend

Strong words, deep meaning....

ときどき、じぶんで何もできない

Spring's almost over, そして、何かな？

Day by day passed like sand in sand clock. It appears too fast to the naked eyes can see. どしおかな？I can't wait to actually go back, to go back to where I belong, at least used to. I miss em' food by the stalls, reminds me how funny things are. Ahaha. Here's the thing, the food served by the roadside are 500% better than such fancy restaurant capable of producing. Why? I do not know, probably that's why they said don't just a book by it's cover? LOL. Billboards and book rating do not actually show the real sense of taste. For instance, if the majority proposes chicken breast is best part of dish, and if I say I like the wing side better, people's gonna be like "oh, come on man! Are you seriously eating that?" **Exaggerated, but you get the idea. ** Basically you try to be them stereotypes just so people look at you to certain level.

I guess it's ok sometimes, I could eat chicken breast too, with a condition, please please please steam it, as chicken rice. URGHHH. I've been craving for Chicken Rice so much that mere saying it could cause my eyes to widen, and obviously my mouth to start watering. **Blame the reflex**

Hurm, too much cholesterol consumption recently, I gotta work out to keep them even. Midwest game... Hurm , I guess I'm playing volley again, this time, and frankly I do not wish for a medal, but I just want to be in when the good game is on. Owh, some of my friends did ask me whether or not I should join their team for volleyball, but I guess this time, Vandy asked me first, so I should consider Vandy my first choice eh? I miss em' good ol' time when we were enjoyin' so much, and curse here and there till the situation kinda get tensed **I guess we should stop cursing this time**. Don't put the blame on me, I did not curse last time, it was a senior* that's responsible. It's OK, age doesn't matter to me, senior, sophomore,or junior, they are all humans. I do not believe seniority counts as a privilege, in any way. I guess I prefer equal chances, you know 50-50. Despite who you are and where you came from. Haha. LOL. But overall, they were good games, so let's stop talking about seniority. What's matter is that we're having fun right?




みんながんばってくださいね！！ :p

A good winding

Finally, after a night struggle (てすや-all nighter), I'm finally done with Dynamics, I'm doing alright in that class so far, except for the kinematics and vectors chapters (chapter 15-chapter from hell). GUHHHH... Anyways, what's passed is past. Soon after class, I was kinda exhausted for the day. It's probably the caffeine effect from McDonald's coffer last night. YUMMY. I don't care, as long as I have something do drink while working on something, it's fine with me, totes!

So last night we had a birthday party for ゆこさん, くぼたさん family are leaving for good, going home to Japan. It was rather unanticipated at dinner time, when they gave me a しゅゆう, a japanese style bookmark, as a parting gift, really, I think I'm the one who's customarily speaking, should give him something instead. Hehe. I promise him I'll use it often....

So, today I missed the last Japanese class, which is kinda absurd, because why would I? For god's sake, it's the lastttttt class. What on earth am I doing? Hurm, i was actually kinda tired, so i decided to take a nap instead. Just to wake up and realize that it's almost 15 minutes before the class would be over already. Nah, it's ok, continue napping.... ZZZZZ

Woke up at 2.30 when somebody bang my door. It's probably Wynne, I don't care, the door's unlocked anyways, he would probably just barge in later, continue napping.... It was almost 3 when I woke up, again, and Thuy was outside as usual, when she asked me whether or not I should come over to Commons celebration or something. I uttered that I might not be going, but I do wanna check out da' Stress Fest.

Called Belem but nobody picked up,busy I presumed? Decided to call Max instead, it turned out that he was having a sweet date, with mastering chem still.... So, all that skipped, and I found myself over at the SLC, for the Stress Fest, no major difference. MSAV still serves the old-good teh tarik. And of course, the layer cake, though I'm not really a big fan of sweets. Saw her, again, but she was rather minding her own business. Her favorite song was up there on the screen though, playing, over and over again. Owh, Mrs Carol Rubin! My mechanical professor whose personality amazes me, behind that goody-goody face, she enjoys dancing really much, at least that's what I could tell. Haniff and the gang stood into the dance party, not long before I decided to give it a go too.

Carol Rubin was the instructor, she's nice. I didn't know that Hebrew has so much similarities with the Arabic language. たとえば, it's ashalamualaikum and arabic's assalamualaikum (peace be upon you). She's a cool professor, i mean who would have thought a Mechanical Proffesor is also a part time dance instructor :p. Such a small world, and yet I had never met such interesting people. どしてですかね？ Hehe,　にっげんはおもしろいねやっぱり？ (Humans are sure interesting right?) ***Grinning***

Overall, today was interesting. All winded and ready to wind again. きまつしけんががんばります！！！　：ｐ

Of forgiving and forgetting

I got off ME 171 exam just a moment ago. Came back to Mctyeire, met Dale, and we're kinda talk for a bit, about childhood's Final Fantasy and stuffs. He's a guy whose conversation is always filled with laughter. Dale's a chill guy, never fail to entertain me everyday with his sincerest smile, never hold grudges against other people. Hardly i see him frowning over anything, never did. I wish I was him sometimes, for being able to forgive and forget, having a bad day today and still able to smile at dinner time.

It reminds me to this conversation I had over the weekend "Syaf, just forgive and forget, it's better for you". And when I asked her how did she manage, she simply replied "I just go to sleep and the next day I knew it's already off my mind". My dear, I'm not you. I cannot simply change my behavior or simply change myself. Easier said than done. I knew I can't go to sleep over something of a foul mood and wake up tomorrow with the grin like Dale's.

Can I just forgive and forget? It's like concocting both remedy and poison in a single pot. As if having both sour and sweet in yourself, simultaneously. I know, I know, I'm just feeding excuses to myself. I'll try to be forgiving, and to be forgetful. I think I'm progressing, it was rather slow, but at least moving somewhere, I've already OK with a person who I've been ignoring since freshman year, I haven't talk to her, but I think deep in my heart, I've already began to accept her the way she is. In fact, I think she's wayyyy better than me, social-wise and other stuffs. I know what you think, not that kind of accepting, OK? ^^ But the kind of a companion accepting each other.... May god fill her life with more joy and berkat.





Thanks Dale, for always filling my life with joy in Mctyeire ^^
ほんとうにありがとうございます ^^

I think I've seen something but I don't know what is it

Yesterday I woke up in a rather dull mood. I missed fajr prayer, again. Dangit! I should train myself to control my sleeping habit better, next time. Sleeping on the floor does not help a bit. I think. Banyak sangat ikut cakap syaitan ni... Haiyoo.. Anyways, the started off with a bit of breakfast, it was last night's leftover. Checked my phone, received 2 messages. The first one wasn't anything much, but the second one, Belem and Andrea asked me if I would like to follow them to Sakura Matsuri (さくらまつり), Japanese celebration of the sakura. Skipping the journey part, we managed to make our way there just right before event. In short, we took a cab, and while having a short conversation with my homies, I spied a prayer mat right in the middle of the cab. The driver was a black man, probably an immigrant from Africa, i presumed. He seemed to throw his glance over the watch for some reason, over and over again, probably waiting for something? I don't know...

By the time we made it there, he took the payment and I THINK I SAW him threw a quick view on the prayer mat. Now, that view really touched me, as a fellow muslim, because I would never bother to look at the time and spend some time to wait, least to say to prepare for prayer. Being in college, I simply settle up most of the things like homework, labs, etc etc and then find time to pray in between, if you know what I mean. Unspeakably, it seems so sweet to me. This guy works as a cab driver, living solely on uncertainties in life, for example, being called only when he's needed, make only a couple of dollars a day if that can't be helped (considering there are a lot of cabs around Nashville and the competition is tough bro!), having to pay tickets if he got pulled over, fuel, etc etc. Doing a quick calculation in my head, I started thinking, what kind of place he lives in? What kind of family he can afford? What kind of job that he possesses other than driving people around? What makes him able to live with that with this kind of recession these days?

I have no clue what’s up with this guy really…. But really, I am curious to know. It reminded me of the importance of being grateful with that you have. I have a computer, a tv, a nice room to live in, a cozy bed to sleep on, enough food to live with, an air conditioner if it’s too hot and a heater of it’s too cold and yet complained so much about not having enough things. I stroked me good. Like an arrow piecing through my heart. No no, I can’t cry now, it’ll be too embarrassing then. Haha. I uttered salam to him before we got out of the cab, and deep in my heart, thanking him so much, for teaching me to be much more grateful and appreciate things around me, without having to say a single word, in a simple 4-5 minutes cab ride.

And off to Sakura Matsuri festival, we met Cole-san, and Alicia-san. We’re just in time to watch Cole-san singing Kimi ga yo (きみがよ). It was such a lovely day at a nice park. That was my second time seeing the General Consulate of Japan, Nashville; I heard he’s a cool guy, though I had never been in any 1-1 conversation with him. We kinda chill over there for a bit, till it was time for the Taiko drum performance.


Sensei, Alicia-san, Cole-san


Unknown kid
The performance was energetic, to the point that it rains (not really heavy), but people didn’t even bother to seek shelter or anything. In a nut shell, it was blasting everybody’s mind. What’s funny is the 3rd song was supposed to be a rain-calling-song. And the guy kept apologizing for calling the rain down. Haha. Owh, I can’t keep my eyes off this performer, the lady with red lips and Chinese-doll hair style. It was amazing. Here’s why I said it’s amazing.



Spot the lady in black right in the middle ^^

In my view, it’s just a Taiko drum show, if you hit the drum differently, it produces different beat, hardly I can recognize any note or anything but that’s all to me. Nothing more. Well, to this lady however, she looked as if she’s so into it. I’m pretty sure it’s such a tiring act (hitting such big drums over and over again for almost an hour, well that makes sense because if you don’t hit them as vigorously, the show won’t be as energetic). What’s catching my eyes is that she smiled as if she enjoys it so much. Not that kind of smile, but the smile so pure that I think it comes from her heart. Not a fake smile if you know what I mean. I think that’s absolutely fabulous to see her, not from the act, but from what comes from her. It’s like tasting an apple pie, but it’s not the sugar in the pie that makes it sweet, but the pure sweetness in apple that makes it a good apple pie. Haha, what am I saying, it sounds so corny now….. ^^ I guess this the sweetness in life? I wonder……

Soon after the show was over, we had a small chat with Nakajima sensei. It’s funny how the Japanese class topic arised, I wonder if I could still be able to take Japanese class again next semester. Theorically, I have fulfilled my humanities requirement. I’m supposed to fulfill only 6 credits of humanities, and now that I had taken 10 credits of Japanese class, I have more than enough than required. Truthfully, I still yearn to continue on with Japanese class (I love that class), but being in mechanical engineering class, next semester is kind of a pain in the ass. Why? I will end up having 19 credit hours. Japanese is such a light class for me though, I could probably manage, but what would the end result be? I don’t know. Should I stay or should I let it go? Hurmmmm…… I wonder… Please god, help me to make a decision….


I guess this is the reason why I'm still taking japanese? Because I love you all! ^^


And of course, Nakajima sensei



And not forgetting, Sogabe sensei

The night

I was at the commons, chillin'. No idea what to do tonight, like seriously dude. I had a call from someone, it was rather unexpected however. Because I thought she was always so busy. But, it's cool, we talked for a bit, quite long actually, almost an hour and a half. She told me some stuffs on the faith, why and why not, comparison-wise, and a couple more stuffs. I think it stroked me good, to the point where i stumbled and think, oh yeah, she does has a point, why not I think over these things? I was pretty lost tonight. Hence, i could use some good talk. To share and to accept, as a sort of reminder if you would like to place it that way. A rather good reminder that was. You know, as humans you just tend to forget, and you need such reminder. It made me think for quite a while, probably 2 hours I was chilling in front of North, alone. I tried to make a choice, but it was a hard one, is it going to be homies, or is it going to be getting back to the people who doesn't appreciate me. To the people that care to listen when I'm down, or the people who are always so selfish.Is it them being selfish, or am I? Or just that i thought too much? But one thing for sure, I really really love my homies, despite what's the outcome going to be.

Until another call came in, oh boy, I'm glad this person called. In such a way, it actually made me feel better in a weird way. I was hanging out with the homies a lot tonight, things just get better since Max and Uyen got together, Keith and Andrea, Wynne and Mel and Flores-san, made it with Mr. H. It's funny to see her blushing tonight. Haha. I felt so relieved seeing them happy with each other. LOL. I mean, yeah, why not be happy for your homies right? Which is why i left them tonight, to give them a bit more space. You know... Love is in the air. Ahaha I don't think I need any more reason to be in commons again later on. So to say. Ahaha

Anyways, I've deleted some people YM tonight, because I decided to keep my mission back on track, not in any way that it might help, but I think it should cover the loss. Or at least I should work for it. And stop me from burdening other people. To really understand what's going on here, and to understand to appreciate people more. I reminds me of a saying "What goes around comes around". Well, I guess that is right, without a single doubt. If you would like to be appreciated, appreciate other people. If you want to make a change, change yourself first. Hurm, such a harsh night, it was cold, but it was good, i think. It was full of thinking, and pondering over these little things

分からないけど、僕のせかつだけですから

Today is my third time going to the AACF meeting, and in case you're wondering, AACF stands for Asian American Christian Fellowship. Despite being a muslim, why on earth would i go to a Christian meeting? Don't ask, I don't know. I just want to learn.

The reason why i went there in the first place, is that Paul ask me whether or not i was free that day. Giving it some thought, "It can't be that bad, can it? It's just a learning process. After all, I'm still Muslim and Islam is my faith, let's keep it that way. So we made it there with a couple of friends, and here is the story, in short.

First time being there: I listened to a sermon by a black guy. He's pretty cool. We had fun time listening to him about how he relates the idea of us (humans) as salad dressings. We're as humans, like a mixture of oil and vinegar, trying to coexist, but we really are not able to, can we? Anyways, you engineers get the idea. Haha.

2nd time: I brought 2 Malaysians with me to have a small meeting. They helped me last week for an interfaith program, setting up the meeting and such, and we're finally made it there like a bunch of assholes being late. Urgh, I felt so bad for making them waiting. Anyways, we had a group meeting (about 3-4 in a group) and we share different things, beliefs, backgrounds, and our upbringing. Stuffs like that. I listened to this person, when she shares her malaysian value of being here, and stuffs like that. It's funny when she asked them "Do you know how many malaysians are here? " and when she told them the number, James, Judy, and Eugene seemed so surprised . Haha, because they haven't look at the MSAV website perhaps? Overall, it was very interesting but we couldn't be there for long since she had to pick some people up later for a talk in ICN. She asked me if i want to come over too, and i was like "errr" and there was an ackward pause before i said ok. Not that i don't want to, but since i've already made commitment to Paul, and i felt bad of leaving them just like that. I mean, it's OK, probably Paul would understand, I haven't gone to ICN for quite a while anyways. It's time to make tiny difference in life after all.

3rd time: Today, to be exact. I tried to get them to come, but probably with the finals and such, I can't. After all, they're going to the ICN later. Or probably they have senior designs or studying for the finals. It's ok, i'm still going anyways. I had a test last night that I had to study for, so, I kinda wanna chill for the night. Today, I made friends with the merceneries. Not that kind of merceneries, but the ones who go out and make people convert into Christianity. So they say. All 8 of them. There were some prayers related activity, but i just kept quiet and pray to Allah instead. Sometimes, going to this kinda of meeting, when you're not supposed to be in it is rather stupid, so what they said, but to me, personally, I wanted to learn Christianity, so that I could outreach these people, and tell them our side of the story too. "Syaf, our job is just to convey the message, not to convert" someone said that to me last time and that is why I will remember this. I just wanna look and learn about this fellowship, and make benefits out of it. To me, Christians and Islam are the most respected faiths in the world. WHY? I DONT KNOW. Don't ask why. But i know that they have something in common. Probably not the right way to oversee it, but it's like having 2 persons sitting in a tree, on different branches. And I start thinking, why is it so hard for them to outreach one another? Because we're paranoid of having to convert? I think that's bullshit. Why? Because if something is the best faith, why afraid to listen to other faith that is no match to our faith? We're humans with intellects, we know how to make comparison, to think and to choose. I believe, whatever faith you're in, it never hurt to listen to the story of others. Just that we chose not to doesn't mean it's not there. Because our parents do not nurture us this way? So what? Things have change, it's the 21 century now, its time to move on. If you believe that your faith is the best faith of the truth, go on, you could listen to the views of others and not having a single problem of listening to others complaints. Don't be afraid. At least that' what i think, despite the fact that I'm such a bad muslim. But i know that I'm learning for the better.

To these 2 people who really helped me a lot. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm just a struggler, who wants to know the truth, though not a single glance of me portraying it. I belive, I'm not a good muslim. So what? At least I'm making progress, though it ain't that much. I'm still learning in my own way. And in my heart, I think I'm doing the right thing, despite what's the outcome in store.... It's ok, I don't even bother to know what's the outcome is going to be like but I'll leave it to fate, I've dare enough to make a small difference in my life, though it's nothing much. I don't know for how much time would I be able to live in this petty world, but I think the best possible way to place this is to consider it as my sweet surrender. I felt losing, but there's as well sweetness in it.